I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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