Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
