This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
