go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
