did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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