pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Jerry, you need to find god
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
