so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
