We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
