I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
