youre lurking in front of me
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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