I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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