I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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