so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
