I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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