Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
