I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
