Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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