I was born with a shot glass in my hand
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
