Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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