You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
