He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
