broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
