I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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