he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
