I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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