I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
