My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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