so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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