Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
