she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
third nipple confirmed
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
