My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
