no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
okay pat passed out under dana's car
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
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it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
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My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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