At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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