There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
