are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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