if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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