He is such a slut. More and more my type.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm just crazy horny about you
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
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