____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
