I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize