I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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