She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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