So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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