I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
