You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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