She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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