Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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