i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
