every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
