Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
