How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
