Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
