I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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