somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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