What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
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