so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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